Sleepless
by Kare Uta
Summary: His memories of the ways Boris sexually assaulted him turn up in his dreams, making him feel alone in his world of dead emotions, where he silently hopes there's someone out there like him, but not someone who's suffering. Rated for implied rape. Oneshot.


He gave a cry and woke with a start

_**Sleepless**_

He gave a cry and woke with a start. He sat up in one swift, sharp movement and squinted. The world was black, but he felt something soft covering his body, and heat beside him. His wide eyes, icy blue eyes, adjusted to the lack of light slowly as he panted, wiping a thick film of cold sweat from his forehead with the back of his shaking hand. He looked beside him with a start as something shifted and groaned.

He clutched the thick blankets in his hands, pulling them hurriedly off his body with the form beside him shifting again. The uneasiness in his stomach was growing, he could practically feel all his stomach contents shifting, the bile coming up his throat, the chill going down his spine and rattling his whole form with every muscle in his body tensing up. His whole body was bruised and aching, leaving him unable to feel any other part of him aside from the aching in his stomach, his skin was numb, leaving it to be only a frame for the pain that his turning stomach was going through.

It took a few moments of stumbling over clothing that he finally made his way to the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind him and slamming his fist against the light switch. He hissed at the sudden assault of particularly bright light that were shed into his eyes and shielded them, stumbling towards the toilet bowl. He flicked the lid and seat back less than quietly. Promptly, he emptied his stomach into the bowl, heaving and spluttering everything his body had in it.

For his breakfast had been rather sparse and lunch had been skipped all together the only thing he could do after some moments was retch dryly, nothing left to spit out but still it was like his consciousness, his heart and mind tried to vomit the very memories, every single one, out of his mind forever and even though not succeeding in that he still tried on and on and on, until he felt his chest and stomach hurting violently, forcing tears into his already-crying crystal-blue eyes. He wanted to let go of everything, not just the memories, he didn't want to feel the real thing against him, he wanted to forget that those terrible hands had ever touched him at all, that they'd ever moved to places they weren't supposed to. It was hard to even try and inhale sobbing breaths in between the fits of nausea and these thoughts so by the time it was finally over he was totally drained, reaching his badly trembling fingers out to flush the toilet, falling back against the cold tiles of the floor. He turned and clawed his way towards the furthest corner of the room and huddled against the walls like a frightened animal. Tears streamed down his cheeks, blurring solid objects into one big mass of smudged colors. He hugged his arms over his chest - protectively, defensively, any way he possibly could, and rocked, occasionally knocking his head against the lightly-colored walls and whimpering almost each and every time.

Someone had apparently heard these soft sounds, being drawn to them to find out what was going on. Tala tried to silence himself, though it was long beyond his own control. His body stiffened more, assuming that was actually possible, just as the bathroom door opened slowly. He forced himself closer to the wall, the footsteps getting much closer so he shielded his head with his long bruised arms. He didn't know who was there, who was looming above him and frankly he didn't care because either way, it wasn't good at all. "Tala?" the person crouched down in front of him, whispering his name cautiously. "What's the matter?"

"Go away!" Tala yelled, his voice cracking and muting due to the dryness of his worn out throat, also muffled by the padding of his arms and legs covering most of his mouth.

"Tala, talk to me, what's the matter? Are you feeling sick or something?"

The redhead felt a hand come in close contact with his arm as it carefully tried to pry it off his head, "Leave me alone!" Tala screamed, raising his head from the safety under his arms and between his neck and chest, "Just stop it! I'm not here for people to touch! You can't just touch me whenever you feel like it! I didn't want him to touch me…and he did, and it hurt so just stop it!"

The young boy sighed, moving himself a little closer to the redhead, "I'm not going to hurt you like that and Boris isn't going to have the chance to hurt you either; he's in prison and even if he weren't, none of us would let him hurt you again." He inched a little closer, tilting his head so that Tala could see him a little better. "We need to get you off the ground, it's cold in here, you're going to make yourself sick."

"Please leave me alone, Bry."

Bryan shook his head slightly, "No, I can't do that for you, Tal."

Tala's lithe frail body continued to tremble violently against the cold stone floors. He hated to admit it but Bryan was right, the bathroom was cold, and the floor was more like solid ice that stung the bare parts of his skin. The ice was painful and biting at his skin mercilessly and wanted to get as far away from it as possible but not willing to move from where he was. Still, all the trembling was good incentive for Bryan to pick him up off the ground, causing Tala to defensively hit his best friend until Bryan set him down on the counter by the sink. "I told you not to touch me."

"You were going to freeze on the ground, and you could still freeze in here." Bryan pointed out to him.

"I could walk by myself!"

Bryan had left the room momentarily, the reason behind Tala's scream. He came back with a blanket he'd pulled right off Tala's bed, wrapping it over the boy's shoulders, "I know, I know you can do a lot of things by yourself but it doesn't mean you have to." he put his hands on his knees and lowered himself a little so he could look at Tala a little better, looking at him with some concern, "Did you have a nightmare?" he watched the other boy nod weakly which caused him to exhale, "You have to remember that this isn't every night, the real thing isn't at least. Boris isn't around to hurt you anymore."

"I can't forget that easily, Bryan." Reflexively, Tala's hand went to a dark purple bruise between his shoulder and collarbone, his pale fingers gliding over the dark skin with care. Tears formed in his eyes again, causing the crystal-like color of his eyes to sparkle all the more with the tears in them. He rubbed his eyes hard with his hands, not caring how badly he hurt himself with the strength.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"I feel so tired." Tala murmured in reply, fighting off the tears as best he could.

"I'll get you some water. Don't move." Bryan was back in the room as quick as he'd left, carrying a glass of water for each of them. They sat in silence, drinking quietly for a few moments. Bryan gently rubs Tala's shoulder, staring as his skin grew to be rather flushed and his eyes started to close with tiredness. He knew well enough that when Tala was anxious then he wouldn't eat. "Have you eaten anything today?" Tala looked at him a little surprised at first before shaking his head. "Then you need juice instead of that; your blood sugar is too low." He went and came back again, this time with a glass of orange juice which Tala sipped slowly. Bryan knew it'd be better if he just ate something but Tala would instantly say that he was too tired to eat anything.

"Thank you."

"Do you want me to carry you back to bed or can you walk?"

"I can walk." Tala pushed himself off the counter, keeping a firm grip on it so as not to fall over from his lightheadedness. He could feel Bryan close behind him as he tried to make his way back into the dark bedroom, tripping over some more clothing before getting to his bed and crawling beneath the covers, one of which he'd brought with him from the bathroom.

"Try not to worry; get some sleep." Bryan slipped in beneath the sheets on the other side of the bed, rolling onto his side and turning away from his friend.

Tala shifted uncomfortably, arching his bruised back off the bed and staring up at the ceiling with sadness in his eyes, "I don't want to fall sleep again. I hate feeling like this Bry, I feel helpless and…stupid for letting it still effect me; I know you're right, I know it can't happen again and I won't let it happen again and I know you won't either but it still hurts."

"I know Tala, but you can't think negatively. You can get through it, I know it but you need to work at it, I know that things will be okay in the end." Bryan had long turned onto his back, turning his head to watch his friend, "It'll be okay Tala, I promise, things will get better."

"You mean that?" The older boy asked in a whisper.

Bryan sighed, thinking about it for a moment, "Of course I do." He turned back over onto his side again, "Try to sleep. Good night." He shut his eyes tight, brushing his cheek deeper into the soft pillow. Trying slowly, he attempting evening out his breathing, although feeling the interruption of his faithful bit-beast entering his mind.

'_You were rather kind and understanding with him tonight, Master, it isn't like you to be this caring, even in situations like these.' _

'_I know how he feels. Boris did the same thing to me but I can't tell him that, he's got enough to deal with already so instead I'll just be careful, tell him the things that I want to be told and hopefully some day I'll start to believe my own words and feel better too.' _

'_That's a lot to shoulder, Master.'_

For a moment Bryan barred off his personal thoughts from his bit-beast, then with uncertainty, still replied, _'I think I can handle it.' _

'_You're crying, Master.'_

Bryan looked a little alarmed at first, placing the back of his hand to his cheek. He didn't like the idea of the tears against his skin, pulling his hand away, pressing his face deeper into the pillow and wiping the back of his hand into the sheets.

"Bryan…"

"Hm?"

Tala moved closer, placing a hand onto Bryan's arm, "Are you okay?" he whispered.

"Yeah, fine. Just tired, go to sleep." He shifted his body deeper beneath the covers, brushing off Tala's hand, "Sleep well, Tal."

"Good night."

_**A/N: Something new; I had it tested on a friend or two and they seemed to like it so I thought it was post-worthy. This tended to be one of my more depressing oneshots for the simple reason that in the end, someone's pain was still left a secret and untended to. I hope some people liked this. Please leave a review. **_


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